The Devil in Eden

I could not resist this pun, and Michael Eden does seem possessed by an evil spirit of some sort. Mr. Eden is my subject of choice today, particularly because I was so distressed by Auditus’ last post that I feel I need to tell Eden off yet again.

My issue is that finding a proper epithet for him is difficult. You see, most insulting terms involve animals, excrement, genitalia, distant locations, and the like. When reflecting on an apt term to describe him, however, I note that every one I might apply has some underlying use, and being useful is one quality that Michael Eden lacks. Consider that excrement is the body’s waste, and removing it from the body is useful. Animals have uses, both to each other and the greater environment. I could say much the same about sex organs, various countries, and all of those other terms that are used to disparage. The problem with Mr. Eden is that he is useless. He offers no description of how the world might look better. I have read through numerous postings on his blog and there is nothing positive. Instead one finds line after line of criticism, personal attack, invective, and hatred. What, I am left to wonder, would Eden’s ideal world look like? He spends far too much time tearing things down instead of describing how he would like matters to be. I want to know how his ideal place would be governed and what living there would be like. My fear is that were he pressed he would use some unspecific term like “heaven.” And there we have it--I know how to describe Eden. To play punningly with his misguided religious fervor, I would describe him as holy useless. Indeed, he considers himself to be faithful, devout, and possessed of his creator’s spirit. But that is only Eden’s unbalanced opinion. I find little of merit in his posturing. In fact, he seems cut from the same sort of overzealous cloth of nearly every other religious fanatic, whether the person’s faith be labeled as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, or any of a dozen other systems of belief.

Michael Eden is holy useless. He is a massive waste of time, a purveyor of half-truths, misstatements, lies, falsehoods, and fallacies. The great comfort one can take is that those Eden likely despises most—zealots from other faiths—have more in common with him than many of his fellow citizens. I hope he enjoys this distasteful intellectual company; many of us with a more moderate temperament and ethical commitment would rather not have him around. Let us shun this holy useless individual.