Buzz Kill (for a moment)

I was introduced and given a full demonstration of progressive muscle relaxation this morning and came away impressed and hoping it becomes a regular part of my life.  As I continue to struggle with nighttime sleeping, it was recommended that I try PMR (everything has a fucking acronym these days).  In brief, you begin by concentrating on your body (it is best to be lying down), start at the toes and move up your body trying to feel each area as you move along, eventually arriving at the top of your head.  Next you clench the muscle in your toes, moving to your feet and heel and ankle, up to the calf and thigh and hips and pelvis, culminating with an intense clench as you lift and hold your legs up for a five seconds and then big release.  This is repeated three to four times.  Next you move to the upper half of your body.  Here you begin by clenching facial muscles, forehead, cheeks, nose, chin and also push your tongue into the top of your mouth.  Move on to your neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, belly, and hold and again, big release.   Repeat three to four times.  Finally, before coming out, you take deep breaths through your nose, pulling from your belly and holding for three to five deep pulls, move this breathing to your chest, and finally combining both with shoulder lifts and release.

I began this demonstration with a mild-morning grogginess, the potential for a stress headache behind my right eye, and came out of the PMR exercise with a tingling sensation all over, a looseness not felt in forever, no headache, and most importantly, energized.  It was, simply put, a great feeling.  Unfortunately, I left this demonstration and walked right into the dysfunction that is my weekly staff meeting.  It is a soul-sucking two hour exercise where incredibly needy people dominate the whole conversation, talk over you at every turn, say things like "no" and "I don't like that" during brainstorming sessions, and basically do not listen to anyone, including themselves.  I was proud of myself for stating directly at one point: "Are we brainstorming ideas, or are you just making decisions for all of us?"  When the meeting came to an end, I was quite exhausted by these selfish people and frustrated by my bosses inability or disinterest in stopping this now two-year pattern of behavior.  The cool feeling from the PMR session had been disturbed, but once I left that negative space, I am happy to report that it did return.  I am heading off to bed, plan to do it again before lights out and hope for a better night's sleep.  Cheers.

My soundtrack for today:

Chris Isaak, "Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing"
Washed Out, "New Theory"
Frightened Rabbit, "Nothing Like You"
U2, "Three Sunrises"
Rufus Wainwright, "Across the Universe"
The Verve, "Bittersweet Symphony" and "The Drugs Don't Work"